Four Months of Nothing

Four months. No updates, no nothing.

I have been on a hiatus that long in terms of writing and blogging. Though in the intergalactic universe (where time is reckoned in light years), four months is nothing but one bat of an eyelash, or perhaps a single beat of the heart; in the blogging world, four months without updating is like Rip van Winkle taking what should have been a nap, and waking up twenty years later.

I could justify these momentary gaps in my updates by saying that I had been busy, and that I couldn’t find the time and the occasion to write, but my busyness has only partly to do with it. Mostly, I got stuck in the rumination of the circumstances that my Lord wisely allows me to undergo, that I thought it best to concentrate first on the “ruminating,” and leave the writing for later. By “later”, I meant either of two things: one, at some indefinite time in the future; or two, not at all.

After poring over several chapters of C.S. Lewis’ Surprised by Joy, and after several bouts with the will-I-write-or-will-I-not-write attitude, it seems now that I meant the first one—the” indefinite time in the future” being the day I borrowed my friend’s laptop for the umpteenth instance, hurriedly composed my thoughts, and finally began to write. That is today.

I guess I am what you call an avid fan of Lewis. I read several of his books. I would giggle like a schoolboy upon the mere sight of his works displayed in a friend’s library, while wishing that my friend would notice the giggle and, in pity, give me his copy. Of course, this does not happen (either because he has enough sense not to mind my giggling, or because my giggles are just too far from being pitiful.)

I am encouraged not only by Lewis’ writing, but also by his life. Surprised by Joy is his autobiography, an honest caricature of his quest for Joy which he found only in Christ. I think everyone is in a similar pursuit. I have been. I still am. And like Lewis, I found it (and continually finding it) in Christ, who “for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at right hand of the throne of God.” I guess this is what I share with Lewis, although the paths that led us there, and the circumstances that God uses to keep us there may be different.

Because of Lewis’ writing, I am also encouraged to write. Though my attempts at chronicling this quest may obviously fall far behind his standards in terms of technique, literary-ness, and even content; yet, just as he was able to encourage me, so I pray that I would be able to encourage others as well. And just as he was able to point me to Christ through his book, so it is my prayer that others may be pointed to Christ as well through this blog.

Several years ago, when I first started this blog, I wrote under the title “Meta-Preface (or Preface to the Preface to the Word Factory)”—a title which I used to think (underscore “used to”) as a cute deconstruction of William Wordsworth’s Preface to the Lyrical Ballads—that I’m thinking of setting some map, as I called it, or a guide and a vision for this blog. I never came around to writing it. Not until now.

Indeed, if there is anything I desire to accomplish in my life, it is to point people to Christ. I must be quick to confess, however, that many times I am unfaithful to this calling. I falter and I stumble. In fact, my legs are too weak to carry me though in this endeavor. It is only by God’s unfailing grace, His steadfast love that never gives up on me that I am able to accomplish what I desire to do.

If truth be told, I write not only with the desire to minister to others, but I write for myself. I write so that the things that I have written might become for me “pillars of stones in the Jordan River,” as the book of Joshua would call it. I write that I might be reminded always of God’s faithfulness, love, grace and favor in my life.

Soli Deo Gloria!